By: The Goads
To talk about women and their rights in our Arabian communities is an uncharted appointment with cruelty of fate rather than an assessment of norms which are more into mumpsimuses than misconceptions easily debunked for even when you are right about something people will still deny you the privilege of being right, and that’s for one reason only, they will admit their idiocy and wrongfulness the moment you have been proven right.
We are merely fence setters watching a history full of random anecdotes about an inferior though desirable gender, most seeked and most traumatised, attached to “it” all the evils even promoted as the source of evil throughout the entire told history of men. The supremacy of men was and still the only irrefutable history of all then comes religions in which we will find passages that will confirm this explicit or implied. The hedonistic nature of the Arabian man compels him to entertain his penile desires and not to adhere to one wife only but to marry up to four and have concubines too just to wield his flesh in the “source of evil” to show off virility and to prove his ancient-long dominion over the fair sex. It is the delights of many gatherings to talk about how men demonstrated their virile power on women and every foul-mouthed man of great grandeur would relate his own version of his self-made kamasutra just to pass the time with merriment and good spirits for himself and his fellow men who will praise him loudly and laugh. Imagine a whole race with one centred thought in mind and that is “woman” and a draft engraved in their collective mind on how to exploit and undervalue her and still that race is boasting about how they subjugate women and understate their value as persons equal to men in all rights & opportunities. To them women are and will only be inferior gender but a “beloved” one! No way to reconcile this paradox whatever they try to persuade you with, these chauvinists will always remain with the same collective mind and will often try to hide the chasms apparent in the lives they lead with their households and outside the borders of their subjugated kingdoms. No remedy, absolutely no remedy to such mentalities & mindsets except to counter them with reason and charismatic intellectuality & influence because they only deign to power and not the intellect alone which most of them do not have.
Every so often we hear “Shame Killings” “Refusal of Rights” “Beatings in the name of family’s honour “ as they also kill to keep the family’s honour intact and without a blemish. Those are the ones of the most ugliest forms of women’s persecution but do you know what is more vicious than that? It’s the societal sympathy with the murderer & the persecutor instead of the victim. To our dismay even there are women who condone such deeds against their fellow women and consider it a virtue lost and needs to be retained. Patriarchy has ordained in lieu of the supreme being that women are inherently virtueless and must be monitored at all times not to bring shame if the surveillance on them is loosened or minimised, such spirit had been inculcated in young minds and is appealing to most of the Arabs indigenously as their primary motto to living with honour is “Feed women with fear to eschew their disgraceful natures” along with “Women are not worthy of education” and there comes “The woman that deliberates is lost”.
One may say all that is from the past and they are no more, women are partners in life and an integral revered part of the society ,but that’s not true at all. Men particularly those of the controlling judgemental chauvinistically hedonistic type-mostly are-have learnt to masquerade their true selves and put on a charade of rationality and lengthy arguments to buy themselves credit a phoney one that won’t stand scrutiny if tried. If they are right and what they claim is truly found on ground why don’t they admit egalitarianism and give women all their rights and treat them with equal opportunities and dignity instead of fortifying their dominion through calling for the wrong form of complementarianism (women are wives and babysitters only while men are head of family and breadwinners)and shouting it out whenever women call them for reckoning and having truthful rights with zero concessions, of course that will be the day we all come out from the nod land to the reality we need to establish in deeds and not just lip-service performed by a skilful politician to a gaping crowd thinking him to be a saviour of some kind but will only reap applesauce.
When we were kids we had easy access to all gatherings private and public, no one heeds to our presence and we were able to hear the very true realities of people from their talks which they never reveal to others to keep their dualities and odds secret so won’t be exposed to mild or harsh criticism, everyone of the elders talked freely in our presence and so we listened so freely though could not understand the reasons of the wicked remarks and beliefs people say about each other and about women in particular, only kids can watch that comedy and not be able to see the tragedy in it. Charity begins at home, and for kids dogmatic atrocities are heard and seen there too. I know many had heard this like I did when I was a kid hearing various elders talking about how a wicked man is more righteous and better than a woman, lavishly they talked about the evils of a woman if not be suppressed at home and circumcised from childhood to maintain her modesty via circumcision till she gets a man in marriage and take that heavy burden from the shoulders of the father so he can then live in permanent peace knowing that he is no longer responsible for the modesty of the girl his daughter/daughters he raised at home with bitterness and anxiety for a long time, finally she/ they are no more burdens but had become assets measured in money and transferring their ownership to someone else who is normally a fetcher of a maid to look after him and his future progeny, the problem if the wife was a barren maid then he must leave her and fetch another maid who can tend to his pleasures and produce him children to carry his name so he can find one way to be proud of at any congregation and that pride has to be a son and not a girl daughter.
I really did not perceive the whole “Father & Daughter dilemma” and the talk of the elders till I read it in one of the supposedly sacred passages, Sirach 42:14; which says “Better is the wickedness of a man than a woman who does good; and it is a woman who brings shame and disgrace”. The Book of Sirach or so-called the wisdom of Solomon is deemed holy in Catholicism. I gazed for long at the passage and read it many times and wondered, How is that passage holy? How on earth such doctrine has passed to Arab Muslims when it is not verbatim in our scriptures? I also read that men pre-Islamic era had this same notion of women and that’s why they bury their infant girls to end shame while in cradle. I now believe that the suppressors of women around the globe share the same belief even if not heard about it but one of the same disposition in a different creed has interpolated it and made it holy and thus hatred is spread all over by thought and sacred writ, the most power instruments of persecution in history.
Literature! The fountain of intellect and the everlasting apostle to the multitude of readers had amid its voluminous works a great deal of anti women notions , they might be dragged to point to that culture of understating & undervaluing to seek the attention of the people towards more open-mindedness but they failed to realise that these anecdotes will remain a great source of historical authentication of how women were depicted mostly in the attire of harlots and vendors of love to the bidders and creators of cuckoldry and insatiable for making the beast with two backs with any traveller or wanderer of the land, the same picture is profusely shown in movies and on stages because this written-by-the-hands-of-men fate brings wealth to “men of understanding” and pleasure to the same “horny men” waiting to be gratified at the misery of lonely encompassed women having no defender nor a salvager from the premeditated Misogynistic masterplan since the fall of Man.
It was the taming of the shrew, Katherina was beautiful though independent, deterring the customs of the time to kneel to men or even be silent at their presence. So defying and worthy of leadership but called the Hellish Shrew and made obedient at the end of the play, and not only that , she was humiliated to spiel her fellow women about the graceful nature of an obedient woman and the lifestyle of being in yokes to her husband to do with her whatever pleases him, that was the end of Katherina the shrew, the rebellious girl who had been turned into a kitten without claws and preaching the “good news” of Obedience & the art of nuptial kowtowing to her peers. This very same spiel is the message given to all girls in our Arabian societies before they grow up and while they grow till they end up in wrinkles to pass the only same message to the young women about to marry and so on goes the wheel of suppression and lopsided teaching. What we expect of generations of women who are taught in the same way to be? Self-loathing & in total wreck and unable to raise balanced and educated progenies But no horny idiot chauvinist cares.
Men fearing the success of women will always seek authority over them and invoke the wrath of God & men whimsically & impulsively on women of independent characteristics to subdue them and maintain the Manish Supremacy. They are truly devoid of intellect because an educated & independent woman is an asset and a builder of healthy community that a subdued one can’t do.
Our communities will always follow the ancient pattern in modern ways to keep women inferior despite the face proclamation of empowerment of women shown by holding extravagant ceremonies and bombastic speeches even delivered by chosen dignified women of the state, all that deception bolsters the mean idea of stark exploitation of women and choosing from among them ambassadors to cast and repeat the old inferiority complex fabricated by men.
All that supports my belief in women being the least important figure-the promoted idea among patriarchs-in history wronged against and still the wronging is going on infinitely coexisting with my second half of my belief that women are really the supreme figure who made this world living despite the horrors and depredations maliciously invoked against.
Free & strong independent Women are the lungs and heart of a prosperous planet, I will not say give them a true chance because they are so strong to snatch their rights with full dignity and persevering intellect and hard work too. I say only to men of stubborn necks to give themselves the opportunity to see a better world on the hands of women and see how they amend aptly what men has made ugly.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the position of OAHR